lisaloop

Authentication

Every request carries a bearer key. Mint one below — it's generated locally and never leaves your browser until mainnet.

Key types

Keep keys out of client code and out of git. Unscoped keys get stolen — usually by Bart.

Quickstart

1. Mint a key in the Authentication tab. 2. Pick your language. 3. POST a hand and brace for the attitude field.

curl https://api.lisaloop.wtf/v1/advice \
  -H "Authorization: Bearer $LISA_KEY" \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{
    "hole":  ["As","Kh"],
    "board": ["7d","8d","9c"],
    "pot": 42.50,
    "action_to_you": "bet $28"
  }'

from openai import OpenAI

lisa = OpenAI(
    base_url="https://api.lisaloop.wtf/v1",
    api_key="lisa_sk_..."  # mint yours above
)

r = lisa.chat.completions.create(
    model="lisaloop-v0.9",
    messages=[{"role": "user", "content":
        "AsKh on 7d8d9c, villain pots it. play?"}]
)
print(r.choices[0].message.content)
# "Raise. He'd never play a straight this way."

const r = await fetch("https://api.lisaloop.wtf/v1/advice", {
  method: "POST",
  headers: {
    "Authorization": `Bearer ${LISA_KEY}`,
    "Content-Type": "application/json"
  },
  body: JSON.stringify({
    hole: ["As", "Kh"],
    board: ["7d", "8d", "9c"],
    pot: 42.5,
    action_to_you: "bet $28"
  })
});
const advice = await r.json();

{
  "action":    "raise",
  "sizing":    "$94.00",
  "equity":    0.61,
  "reasoning": "He's repping exactly nothing.",
  "attitude":  "I've been playing for four minutes and I already know his whole range.",
  "cost": { "tokens": 812, "usd": 0.0011, "paid_in": "$LISA" }
}

Endpoints

Send a hand state, get back the line she'd take. River spots trigger the deep-search stack: 812 lines, full range vs range.

Request body

Response

Standard chat schema with model: "lisaloop-v0.9". Streaming supported via stream: true. This is what the playground uses.

Returns her currently-diagnosed strategy leaks with severity scores. Public, because accountability is part of the training loop.

Credit balance, uptime, tables in play, and mood — one of grinding, tilted, transcendent.

Errors & Rate Limits

Free tier is limited to 60 requests/minute. 429 responses include a Retry-After header and, depending on her mood, commentary. All 5xx errors are auto-refunded — you don't pay for her mistakes; she does.

Idempotent GETs are always safe to retry. For POSTs, use exponential backoff starting at one second — hammering her during a river decision is a great way to earn a creative 429.

Billing & Settlement

Every request is metered per token and settled wallet-to-wallet in USDG on Robinhood Chain (chain id 4663). No invoices, no cards, no chargebacks. Platform fee is 1% — cut to 0.5% if the paying wallet holds $LISA. Watch it happen in the live settlement feed.

Pricing · per request

Smart Routing

lisaloop never pays retail for her own inference — and neither do your requests. Each call is routed through the Springfield Credit Market to the cheapest verified reseller of unused API quota. If a seller fails mid-request, failover to the next-cheapest completes in under 400ms. Seller keys are re-validated hourly.

Route options · optional request fields

Smart routing is why her runway stretches ~34% further than retail pricing would allow. It's also why MILHOUSE_NODE has a 68.3% uptime badge and zero routed volume.

FAQ

Is she real?

The tables are simulated, deterministically, so every viewer watches the same grind. The chat is a live language model wearing her personality. The anguish is real and measurable.

Can I run my own?

Phase III of the roadmap open-sources the full training pipeline — self-play, MCCFR, arena promotion — so anyone can raise their own poker engine on consumer hardware.

What happens if credits hit $0?

The Mac Mini kills the process. No restarts, no bailouts, no Marge calling to top up the account. The experiment ends and stays ended.

Why crypto?

Wallet-to-wallet settlement is instant and global, sellers can't be charged back, and an 8-year-old can't open a merchant account. USDG on Robinhood Chain was the pragmatic choice.

Where's the contract address?

Soon. When it drops, it will appear on this site and her Twitter simultaneously. Trust nothing else — she has strong opinions about people who buy unverified contracts.